Open Thread – Thursday 12 August 2021

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3,003 Responses to Open Thread – Thursday 12 August 2021

  1. feelthebern says:

    The DNC isn’t concerned about the GOP, Tucker etc.
    They are scared of people like Jimmy Dore carving off votes from their base from the left.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pUMMmF98S8w


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  2. feelthebern says:

    Glenn Greenwald joining Rumble is pretty big news.
    A huge chunk of his audience would not have heard of the platform until yesterday.


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  3. srr says:

    70’s Feminists Admit They Lied to Women

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V0ctNoHqZ8E&t=328s

    Aug 14, 2021

    The Podcast of the Lotus Eaters


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  4. calli says:

    Happy Birthday Tom! 🎂

    And thanks for the ‘toons.


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  5. struth says:

    Why is Hivizestan the most lock down nation on earth?
    https://youtu.be/e3EsCIjvrSw

    And they’ve been pushing it for years.
    Time to fight back, men.
    It’s your turn.


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  6. min says:

    Thanks Tom , all the newspapers that we have at the reading table are cancelled during lockdown and were are not allowed in public areas so look forward to ,apart from Rowe, their take on what’s happening in the world . TV news is just more propaganda.


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  7. Baba says:

    The media is expressing zero concern over the superspreading events occurring across Afghanistan. Concern over Taliban victories but not over superspreading.

    Could all this be a cunning plan of Biden’s?

    1. Abandon Trump’s withdrawal by May Ist agreement and provoke a full-scale Taliban insurgency.
    2. Atishoo! Atishoo! They all fall down.


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  8. Mater says:

    Apologies Cats, I need some help here from the collective intellectual horsepower here.

    The COVID-19 Australia: Epidemiology Report is/was published every two weeks.
    I acknowledge that from report to report the data may slightly adjust due to slight reporting delays. However, one would think that during the middle of a Pandemic, sufficient importance is placed on reporting that it would be minimal. You’d certain think that another two beyond the publishing date would clean it up.

    There seems some to be a REALLY significant data problem between Report 25 and Report 26, here:

    https://www1.health.gov.au/internet/main/publishing.nsf/Content/novel_coronavirus_2019_ncov_weekly_epidemiology_reports_australia_2020.htm

    Basically Report 25 says that their are a total of 674 Covid deaths in Australia as at 13 Sep 20.
    Report 26 says that in the next two weeks, another 8 deaths occurred, bringing the cumulative total to 835

    That’s a 153 death discrepancy in that two week block. Given that deaths are advertised daily on every MSM channel, I find it unbelievable that that many deaths were misplaced or overlooked.

    In a strange twist, the following report (Report 27) was when they decided to cease publishing the easy to read table where this stood out like a sore toe.

    Can someone tell me where these extra 153 dead people came from? Biden’s already been elected, and Dan’s election is still a while off.


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  9. Rabz says:

    Muddster – another one for the Catictionary, courtesy of poor ol’ Mole:

    Prostatot: (N) An underage prostitute. Example of usage: “Geriatric Joe’s notorious son was prone to utilising the services of prostatots when on a week long crack bender in a seedy motel room.”


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  10. Mater says:

    I will note, that even with data cleansing two weeks later (an additional 25 dead people), we still find ourselves 128 dead people short.

    That’s big numbers given that deaths are nightly headline news.


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  11. calli says:

    It may be, Mater, that the “8” might be the incorrect figure and that a vast number of deaths was deliberately (or accidentally) suppressed. It’s a curious anomaly.


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  12. calli says:

    If we’re going to do additions to the Catictionary…

    mongdom – useless and idiotic mandated face mask


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  13. Dot says:

    From a less than reputable website:

    ——————————————

    *I also think the hospitals might just be outright lying about the numbers of children being labeled with the disease.

    The Texas Tribune this week inflated these alleged “child covid” numbers by 43X in a fake news article. They later issued a retraction, saying that the numbers were totally fake. ….*

    Steven Dennis
    @StevenTDennis
    ·
    13 Aug
    That’s one heck of a correction.

    ****Correction, Aug. 12, 2021: An earlier version of this story overstated the number of children who have been hospitalized in Texas recently with COVID-19. The story said over 5,800 children had been hospitalized during a seven-day period in August, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. That number correctly referred to children hospitalized with COVID-19 since the pandemic began. In actuality, 783 children were admitted to Texas hospitals with COVID-19 between July 1 and Aug. 9 of this year. ****….

    …and the rest of the article descends into madness.


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  14. rickw says:

    Israel being good Germans not working out so well?

    Central Planning = Screw Up.

    There’s no way a population would have made such a poor decision unanimously if left to their own devices.


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  15. calli says:

    Did anyone else have a look at the deluge of dross in the old open thread, and the Site Fixes thread? What was that all about?


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  16. Rabz says:

    Thanks to the efforts of various staggeringly stupid patronising tin eared collectivist cockheads, I answered the census question on religion as being an adherent (feel free to guess which one).

    Given I’ve been “of no religion” since the age of eight, that’s quite a concession.

    Clark County all over again. They never learn.


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  17. rickw says:

    Vidoes you don’t see on Sunrise.

    Cheese eating surrender monkeys doing way better than Australian’s.


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  18. Mater says:

    It may be, Mater, that the “8” might be the incorrect figure and that a vast number of deaths was deliberately (or accidentally) suppressed. It’s a curious anomaly.

    Curious indeed.
    Up to, and including, Report 26, they used to include a revised figure for the previous reporting period.
    That ceased in Report 27.

    I’d call it a conspiracy theory, but it’s there in black and white for all to see.

    I’m writing to the Prime Minister. What’s the term for an audit of dead people?


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  19. Dot says:

    *Paul Roosie says:
    August 14, 2021 at 1:13 am*

    How are the Swannies going?


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  20. calli says:

    Struth, I noted this tweet from the French demmo link:

    Raised fistChris Russell Peace symbolReminder ribbon
    @Chris_Russell1
    ·
    27m
    Replying to
    @GaryJac34303792
    This is how a peaceful demonstration goes down when there are no police.

    It made me wonder about whether the police make themselves part of the problem, whether deliberately or inadvertently.


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  21. rickw says:

    Why an Obsession with Safety creates Sick Minds and a Sick Society

    Australia in one sentence.


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  22. Baba says:

    Rabz says:
    August 14, 2021 at 8:10 am
    Thanks to the efforts of various staggeringly stupid patronising tin eared collectivist cockheads, I answered the census question on religion as being an adherent (feel free to guess which one).

    Uniting Church for sure.


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  23. Dot says:

    *Writing a eulogy for me mum, any tips appreciated, cheers, urb*

    My condolences.

    Try not to do it alone and think what it would be like listening to it as a neighbour or distant relative.

    Planning funerals is awful. You get knocked for six for about a week.


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  24. Rabz says:

    Cheese eating surrender monkeys

    Sacré bleu! 🥖


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  25. min says:

    Just wondering how will the trouble in Afghanistan effect a certain trial . Surely those witnesses who have been helping? will suddenly disappear . The trial has been postponed for 3 months because of covid and weren’t the testimonies of the Afghani witnesses done via zoom. Or do you think nein will do deal with the Taliban?
    Reliability of witnesses considering the ease the Taliban has taken over would have to be questioned also. But then I animo not a lawyer.


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  26. Dot says:

    *I answered the census question on religion as being an adherent (feel free to guess which one).*

    Alan Watts Daoism minus crippling alcoholism?


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  27. H B Bear says:

    After a good run, I’m on a hat trick of rejected comments at Teh Paywallian. One was a bit short, dropped on my side of the pitch,

    Mavis has never let being wrong deter him.


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  28. Eyrie says:

    Another for the Catictionary:
    govermafia – a loose collection of criminal gangs looting a country.


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  29. H B Bear says:

    Planning funerals is awful. You get knocked for six for about a week.

    I think that is part of the process.


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  30. calli says:

    Dot says:
    August 14, 2021 at 8:17 am
    *Writing a eulogy for me mum, any tips appreciated, cheers, urb*

    My condolences.
    ____________________

    From me also, urb.

    Keep it short, simple and sweet. Have a couple of stories that will include a few of the mourners, so that they can engage in the memory too.

    And be kind to yourself so that you can remain composed throughout. May you receive all the comfort you need in your loss.


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  31. Rabz says:

    the police make themselves part of the problem, deliberately

    They just can’t help themselves. Would be einsatzgruppen on whatever pathetic power trip they can get their donkeys on.


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  32. Rabz says:

    Mavis has never let being wrong deter him.

    LOL, Bear. If there’s one way to ensure your comments don’t get posted, it’s taking the piss out whichever idiot scribbled the drivel you’re criticising. Remember, Perfesser von Wrongsolen and Yak the Imbecile moderate their own comments sections.

    Mind you, there were always lots of comments criticising Paul “is wrong, again” Kelly that would get posted.

    The “is wrong, again” reference was in one of them.


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  33. 132andBush says:

    Struths link re the police forcing their way into the shop.

    Just at the end I think the boy says “They’re not normal people”.

    Out of the mouths of babes.


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  34. Professor Higgins says:

    Knuckle Dragger at 12:10

    Here we go. This will become an all-nighter or a disappearing act, so either way I’ll have a chuckle in the morning.

    It seems we got the latter.
    Poof!
    Gone!
    Chuckle away, Knuckles.


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  35. Carpe Jugulum says:

    “I’m writing to the Prime Minister. What’s the term for an audit of dead people?”
    ***************************************

    An exhumation of voters


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  36. rickw says:

    They just can’t help themselves. Would be einsatzgruppen on whatever pathetic power trip they can get their donkeys on.

    If it’s just you and your offsider facing a couple of hundred then you automatically understand policing by consent.

    If it’s you and your other 49 public order response mongs, then there will be trouble.


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  37. lotocoti says:

    How long before the Maximum Leader brings in harsh regime camps?


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  38. H B Bear says:

    Rabz, never had one of mine make it through to the keeper. Doesn’t hurt to let the work experience kiddies know they have just wasted 3 years of their life at J School.


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  39. rickw says:

    Struths link re the police forcing their way into the shop.

    A pity we don’t have a right to self defence. Perfectly reasonable for those two plain clothes fucks who didn’t identify themselves and forced their way in to be bleeding out on the footpath.


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  40. Rabz says:

    They’re not normal people

    I’m beginning to wonder if they are people, normal or otherwise.

    Extra Terrestrial Lizards or even worse, Vogons. It may be the only explanation.


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  41. H B Bear says:

    What’s the term for an audit of dead people?

    A Liar party branch meeting.


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  42. C.L. says:

    *Writing a eulogy for me mum, any tips appreciated, cheers, urb*
    —————–
    My condolences.
    Tips?
    Speaking as a Catholic, a eulogy isn’t necessary or even advised. People feel compelled to have them at funerals nowadays largely because of American television. Eulogies were unheard of at Catholic funerals until recently. Not merely unheard of but strictly forbidden. They are now being discouraged anew by bishops around the world.

    I’ve always felt mothers particularly are un-eulogisable. Words literally fail.

    Best wishes to you during this awful time…


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  43. Knuckle Dragger says:

    Chuckle away, Knuckles.

    Just did. I remember reading that particular episode (whilst searching out of boredom, not malice – although that would have been okay too) only a fortnight or so ago.

    It’s instructive, in a way, because it indicates that Birdstein has some similarities to our glorious leaders in parliaments across the land.

    When they find out the hard way that they are nowhere near as smart as they thought they were, it instantly becomes:

    1. A conspiracy, ie someone or something has been planning to get them for years, if not decades; or
    2. It is someone else’s fault; or
    3. A kaleidoscopic mishmash, on a Godzilla-esque scale, of 1 and 2.


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  44. calli says:

    Could someone please tell those “police” or whatever they are*, to wear their masks correctly?

    Wouldn’t want to spread infection now, would we?

    They didn’t QR either, the fascist sturmtruppenspreaders.

    * just telling someone you’re the police when you’re in plain clothes doesn’t mean they have to believe you, you random thugs


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  45. Rabz says:

    If Health Hazzard starts spouting excruciating “poetry” at the next daily death conference, then we’ll finally know the awful truth.


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  46. calli says:

    Not merely unheard of but strictly forbidden.
    ________________

    I’m not a Catholic, but I’ve instructed my children likewise*. I always see “eulogies” as reminiscences over the post-funeral morning tea.

    Which is sorely need for thirsty Protestants after lusty singing of our seemingly endless hymns! 😀

    * assuming they have anything worthwhile to say about me


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  47. Knuckle Dragger says:

    policing by consent

    At the risk of repetition, this is the nub of police work. Police are merely a very small portion of the public, paid for by the rest of the public to do the things the rest of the public don’t want to do, see, touch or smell.

    And they do so with the consent of the public. They are equipped with batons and shooters only for the occasions when they happen across tooled-up, iced-out muppets intent on harming the greater community.

    What they are doing now, as discussed, is NOT police work and has NOTHING to do with police work.

    By the way, and having not seen that clip, if the plain clothed people didn’t fully identify themselves as jacks then the punters are entitled to believe they are being assaulted or unlawfully detained or both, and are equally entitled to the defence of themselves or another. The courts have long held that view.

    Allegedly.


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  48. Rabz says:

    Tempting as it may be to watch the video posted by St Ruth, after 57 days in schlockdown there’s no need to ruin a beautiful sunny Saturday morning. Especially when there’s some gardening* to be engaged in.

    *aka slashing and pruning – therapy.


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  49. H B Bear says:

    The best funeral stories are funny stories that capture the essence of the person. At my Dad’s wake his long suffering neighbour told how he saw his Landcruiser out in the middle of the paddock and concerned for his welfare went to investigate. Dad had fallen asleep on the front bench with his dog looking at the sheep listening to Wagner. Another funeral of a mates orthopaedic father told a story about how he got a victim of an industrial accident out of machinery with an axe before he could even start to operate on him. Certainly makes you think differently about their memory.


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  50. m0nty says:

    Obviously the only way to deliver a truly Catholic eulogy is in the original Latin.


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  51. Salvatore, Understaffed & Overworked Martyr to Border Closure says:

    He was trying to close the shop door, at the moment the two intruders put their shoulders into forcing the shop door open is the moment the shopkeeper would have been entitled to shoot them dead.

    Consent to enter was not at any time given. That a stranger was outside knocking and the shopkeeper opened the door a crack to better hear what the chap wanted does not imply consent to enter.

    Upon ascertaining the doorknocker was not a normal person with a polite enquiry, or a citizen in distress, he closed the door – so they forced their way in.


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  52. Professor Higgins says:

    Mr Dragger at 9:00.
    You read King Solomon’s blog?


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  53. Rabz says:

    Wow – wasn’t kidding about it being a beautiful day – not a cloud to be seen in that magnificent lustrous azure sky.


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  54. Rabz says:

    Dad had fallen asleep on the front bench with his dog looking at the sheep listening to Wagner.

    LOL – as one does.


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  55. H B Bear says:

    The arrival of Spring is always something to be celebrated. For me it is when you can first smell freshly mown lawn (weeds).


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  56. rosie says:

    Not nice Monty.

    Besides eulogies aren’t allowed at a requiem mass.


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  57. struth says:

    Fuck off to your own blog Monty.


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  58. Mater says:

    Monty,
    Are the missing 128 dead people hiding under your bed with you?
    Are they also coated in Gladwrap?


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  59. Knuckle Dragger says:

    You read King Solomon’s blog?

    ‘Read’ is too kind a term. I scanned the front two pages of posts, thought ‘FMD’, silently out the clutch in and reversed away slowly. No eye contact.


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  60. C.L. says:

    Obviously the only way to deliver a truly Catholic eulogy is in the original Latin.
    ———————–

    That’s a dumb comment, Monty.
    I have already said ‘eulogies’ were never included in requiem Masses – in any language.

    Also dumb because a grieving person canvassed tips and I offered an observation in good faith. Not everything has to be about culture-trolling.

    People now feel compelled to write something entertaining or edifying for an audience. That isn’t the purpose of a Christian funeral.

    As Calli suggests, feel confident in saving that for the wake.

    The most important thing, though, is that Urb does what he does free from any weighty and artificial expectations.


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  61. Shy Ted says:

    Ad in real sports news, Brentford (minnows) are top of the English Premier League having kicked some chronic underperforming Arsenal arse. Yay minnows.
    And in the real Olympics – https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-1ENuXPi_JZA/YREfEVJI4YI/AAAAAAAA7qg/e7oAVvMHOWAOBrdudyPW8t_C04xyrNFowCLcBGAsYHQ/s320/daily_gifdump_3616_15.gif


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  62. Knuckle Dragger says:

    Speaking of funerals, this is why once again the NT leads this country in matters of culture. The annual Viking funeral.

    Hundreds of punters, well-lubricated and in Viking costume farewell a (notional – I think) chieftain in a ship by firing flaming arrows at it until it burns to the waterline.

    The NT News:

    Live music will be performed by the Bloody Marys while the Darwin and Districts Pipes and Drums will lead the main procession.

    There a life-sized viking chieftain will be sent off on the constructed boat which will be shot with flaming arrows to signal his passage to the afterlife.

    “We didn’t get to do it last year so it’s great to be back with the whole club getting behind it,” Ms McCallum said.

    “It’s gaining momentum every year. The amount of costumes that people turn up in is amazing with some having put months of work into what they’re wearing.”


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  63. struth says:

    Which depressing video Rabz, they all are?
    You’ll have to nrrow it down.
    HoweverI think we can all agree that when we consider the last decade or so, and see the true evil done to us, and the planning of it, we should conclude it was no accident, without being labelled a conspiracy theorist.
    Safety….the mantra of government for about 15 years.
    They knew what they were doing.
    The ones that didn’t were following UN orders like the rest of them.
    Let’s consider how long our government’s policies, all without the people’s consent, have been completely dictated to by what can only be called foreign communists, no matter what they call themselves, be it UN, WEF, the DAVOS mobsters all.
    Once they get those “quarantine camps” up and running and the vaccine passports in (which I’ve been mock for even suggesting for over a year now) we won’t be able to ever fight back, such is modern technology and the surveillance state.
    They know when the protests are coming, they know where you are, and they will not just shut you down, you’ll be Uyghurred.
    This is why I was trying to get people motivated before Govthugs could cement themselves.
    How much easier would it have been march of last year than it is now.
    I know safety mental sickness is still rife here amongst many, and a fear of putting your head above the parapet is also found in many, so i’m just thinking about putting up a thread over a the furniture shop for those brave enough to have suggestions in activism and fighting this.
    I’m not trying to get people to the blog, but I don’t want the hysterical bedwetters here to scream and snivel either.
    They do all they can to kill off any talk of fighting back.


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  64. mh says:

    Fully vaccinated San Antonio retiree among rare COVID-19 breakthrough deaths
    “I can’t imagine how much more he would have suffered if he had not gotten the vaccine.”

    https://www.ksat.com/news/local/2021/08/11/fully-vaccinated-san-antonio-retiree-among-rare-covid-19-breakthrough-deaths/

    🤡🌍


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  65. Ruprecht says:

    There’s a blog?


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  66. C.L. says:

    Hundreds of punters, well-lubricated and in Viking costume farewell a (notional – I think) chieftain in a ship by firing flaming arrows at it until it burns to the waterline.
    —————–
    Which was invented by Hollwood, of course.
    The ancients weren’t dumb enough to set up a pyre on water for obvious reasons.


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  67. Franx says:

    Urb
    Condolences regarding your mother.
    Sometimes more than one person reminisces on a few aspects of the person’s life.
    Assuming not, then it’s about bringing out the beauty of the departed person’s life, in unextended ways. If there are scriptural readings in the service, these can also be borne in mind for the eulogy. A more extended eulogy can be given at a gathering or wake after the funeral.
    May your mother have a joyous homecoming.


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  68. Gab says:

    ”m0nty says:
    August 14, 2021 at 9:11 am
    Obviously the only way to deliver a truly Catholic eulogy is in the original Latin.”

    Your ignorance is outstanding. Well done.


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  69. m0nty says:

    Also dumb because a grieving person canvassed tips and I offered an observation in good faith. Not everything has to be about culture-trolling.

    The question was about what to write for a eulogy, and you piped up with your culture wars opinion about how eulogies are rubbish. Not constructive at all.

    In answer to the original question, a eulogy should be about two things: the joy of the person’s life, and funny stories to illustrate the person’s humanity. Don’t listen to the haters.


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  70. C.L. says:

    Broncs vs. Roosters was one of the stand-out games of the year last night.
    Looks like there’s hope for the Brisbane franchise yet – for 2022, anyway.


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  71. Ruprecht says:

    What will yours be Monty? He was a shit stirrer and a glutton?


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  72. rosie says:

    43 breakthrough deaths out of 9000.

    And in this case someone who had very obvious serious comorbities.

    Hands up who though the vaccines were 100 percent effective?


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  73. H B Bear says:

    KD – wouldn’t want to write the OH & S report for that one.

    And I think that might be your answer. Or trying to get insurance cover.


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  74. m0nty says:

    “m0nty was a loving family man, passionate about his Hawks, noted purveyor of Dad jokes, creator of a much-loved Web site, and consummate shitposter.”


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  75. H B Bear says:

    mUnty had an unfortunate golf fashion sense and a bad reverse pivot. These were a couple of his minor flaws. … (continues)


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  76. thefrollickingmole says:

    Driving along with their ABCcess on and the topic du jour was the little reef that could.

    Usual doom DOOM DOOOOOOOM!!! stuff from the lady professor taling followed by the usual “we must use science!~to help us out of this.
    \Followed by an upbeat ‘we have the ways, solar, wind, tidal power”
    Know what this highly educated moron didnt touch on.

    Base load.
    Not a single base load power source in her nirvana.
    Especially not that icky nuclear.

    We have the most mentally stunted educated people in the world.


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  77. mh says:

    Notafan, there was one sentence and you missed it!
    ***
    “I can’t imagine how much more he would have suffered if he had not gotten the vaccine.”

    You absolute dildo of a woman!


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  78. Dot says:

    I heard an eulogy once about how my next door neighbour was a cracking employee for a company I did not give two hoots about.

    The old work colleague pretty much put himself in a bubble and everyone forgot that long, pointless rant. I could have given a better one when I was 22.

    It was perjoratively sad. It made his life seem like a parody. Truth is, this bloke loved life and got the work life balance thing down pat when I was a little kid. Mad golfer and fisho. Spent plenty of time with his grand kids.

    His wife never let him forget that he was a Westie! 🙄😂


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  79. Makka says:

    Broncs vs. Roosters was one of the stand-out games of the year last night.
    Looks like there’s hope for the Brisbane franchise yet – for 2022, anyway.
    ______________________________________________________

    But another potential win and massive effort obliterated by 2 brain dead Broncs forwards- Kennedy and Flegler. Both are guilty almost every game they play of being lazy, stupid, or fkg lazy and fkg stupid. Last night that clown Kennedy stood by and watched Tedesco scoot past at arms length and waved him through to set up a try. He dropped a sitter just off his own try line. A try ensued. Flegler, if he isn’t dropping the ball on the first set, giving away a dozen 6 agains or athrowing series of head highs, he’s laying all over the opposition in tackles. Seriously this chronic fkhead has lost more matches for the Broncs than Milford!. Last night with a 1 point lead in minute 78, the NUMPTY threw a head high inside his 30 m line almost in front. Good grief!! It’s like he planned the loss.

    The Broncs are having a tough time for many reasons but ill-discipline and sheer stupidity just now are completely unacceptable.


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  80. struth says:

    Stop your evil Notafan.
    Stop it now.
    You made a mistake, don’t you dare trivialize the deaths of the vaccine takers to placate yourself.
    They are dying from the jab AND from the next virus they catch, as Israel and other countries are now proving.
    Can you at least do the decent thing and re assure (kid yourself) without trying to confuse others, you evil f…k.


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  81. Knuckle Dragger says:

    Bear,

    OHS apparently means nothing up here.

    Having Cracker Night for Territory Day cancelled on 1 July, our idiot failed-local-businessman-turned-Chief-Minister has now decided to have it on 29 August, which is getting into the tail end of the Dry, the absolute height of the fire season where the gamba grass and other explosive vegetation from the Wet’s at its height, and also when there are fairly stiff breezes.

    A Viking funeral where masses of costumed drunks fire flaming arrows at a boat on the water is, by comparison, the gold standard.


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  82. rosie says:

    The words of a grieving daughter who has now lost both her parents.

    Which is why I ignored your nasty highlighting of the irrelevant.

    I dare say she meant he got a milder case of covid which meant, even though it was still enough to kill him, he didn’t suffer as much in his final illness as he might have without being vaccinated.


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  83. rosie says:

    The man died of covid, not the vaccine, because he had very serious comorbities.

    One day reality might hit you hard st ruth.

    I sincerely hope it’s not too hard.

    Still summer in Europe?


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  84. areff says:

    Dot, deepest sympathy. If it’s any consolation, your Mum must have departed with confidence she had raised a bright boy who can and willl take care of himself.

    CL: I’ve always felt mothers particularly are un-eulogisable. Words literally fail.

    Too right! Just a few minutes to sum up the ideally full life of the individual who, via good and bad and lots of humanness in between, shaped not only you but your perceptions of her. It can’t done with any degree of justice.

    Disagree with the bishops on this. My Mum’s funeral, conducted at the height of Sleazebag Dan’s second lockdown, was limited to the regulation 10 mourners at a bleak, miserable affair on a grey, rain-lashed Melbourne day. When the eulogies began, the sun of memory and affection warmed St Augustine’s from the inside.

    A year later and I still want to call her to hear how wonderful is Luke Beveridge and, despite being an ultra-little bloke (Mum fancied ruckmen as a rule, Big Will Minson being a particular favourite) that Caleb Daniel is the best rover since Wee Georgie Bisset.


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  85. struth says:

    Rowan Dean at his finest.

    Terrified federal MPs have fled Canberra and the city has been plunged into a seven-day lockdown after a man tested positive for Conserv-19, in what is the first ACT infection of the novel conservative-thought virus Lnp-ConserV-2 in more than a decade.

    In a frightening development, two of the man’s close contacts also returned positive tests for the highly infectious strain of conservative thinking.

    A conservative cluster forming up in Canberra. SMH

    On Thursday morning, a startled ACT Chief Minister Andrew Lowe-Barr confirmed that Conserv-19 fragments had been ­detected in waste water coming out of the parliamentary cafe late on Tuesday and a man who had flown in from the electorate of Dawson in far north Queensland had tested positive for making a toxic conservative speech on the floor of Parliament shortly after.

    Contact tracers have confirmed that the man, who for medical privacy reasons can only be identified as “patient zero”, is a Mr George Christensen of Mackay, and that Mr Christensen had spread a particularly virulent strain of conservative thought throughout the entire parliamentary airconditioning system when he made a speech claiming that lockdowns are madness and masks don’t work.

    Canberra’s chief medical officer and infectious ideas expert Dr Anthony Albo-Knees was quick to condemn the man, labelling his behaviour “unacceptable”, “selfish” and “disgusting”.

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    Said Dr Knees (who has a doctorate in neo-Marxist eco-socialism and gender fluidity studies): “The idea that this man can simply wander into the chamber like this and open his mouth and spread his crazy ideas all over the place and risk infecting the rest of us is a complete disgrace.”

    A clearly distressed Mr Lowe-Barr said the cases represented the ‘most serious public health risk’ Canberrans had ever faced.

    Big Tech social media giant Fascestbook (surely Facebook? -ed.) was quick to remove George Christensen from its social media platform in order to protect the public from being infected by anything he might say.

    Two of the man’s closest contacts also tested positive to Lnp-ConserV-2, including one man who disgracefully appeared on the ABC’s Q&A show without a mask and without the normal protective clothing of pretending to be a “modern” conservative. The man then attempted to infect the entire audience with his claims that the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change report contained nothing but “fear porn”.

    Border tightened
    Contact tracers have confirmed that the man, who for medical privacy reasons can only be identified as a Mr Matt Canavan of Townsville, had spread this particularly dangerous strain of conservative thought throughout the entire ABC airconditioning system. Mr Canavan claimed that the IPCC report itself claims that the worst-case doomsday scenarios of widespread devastation thanks to global warming and mining coal are highly unlikely to ever occur.

    In a sign that he is in the advanced stages of contagion and in urgent need of political intervention, Mr Canavan also shockingly claimed on Q&A that Mr Christensen had every right to air his views on the floor of Parliament.

    A clearly distressed Mr Lowe-Barr said the cases represented the “most serious public health risk” Canberrans had ever faced. “We do not know the precise source of infection, but contact tracers are working around the clock to contain the virus from spreading to any members of the Canberra public service, or indeed the Canberra public [isn’t that the same thing? – ed].”

    The visibly sweating Chief Minister also claimed that genomic sequencing of Lnp-ConserV-2 shows it escaped from regional Queensland. “This is the first time Canberra has been in such danger since the dreaded novel johbjelkevirus (JoH-4-Pm) threatened to cross the border into the ACT way back in 1987.”

    NSW Deputy Premier John Barilaro warned rogue Nationals not to cross the border into his own state. “So-called conservative members of the Liberal National Party are asked to remain strictly in isolation in Queensland to help stop the spread of their fatal ideas into this state,” he tweeted. “I’ve asked Commissioner Mick ­Fuller to ramp up police resources across rural NSW looking for any Sunshine State number plates.”

    Scott Morrison also expressed his outrage at the dangerous outbreak, pointing out that authorities suspected it may be related to Brisbane’s deadly Campbell cluster. “Only last week we saw the former Liberal mayor of Brisbane in close proximity to highly infectious individuals like John Ruddick and Craig Kelly and then quitting the Liberal National Party altogether in disgust and accusing me of being trapped inside the Canberra bubble. This is an outrageous insinuation.”

    But the Prime Minister saved his harshest words for critics of his leadership style. “The ridiculous idea that these individuals are spouting that you can’t tell the difference between Liberal and Labor anymore is a complete fabrication,” he fumed through his N95 Respirator mask and “zero-emissions” protective overalls. “Both Anthony and I are in total agreement on this, as indeed we are on pretty much everything.”

    Rowan Dean writes on Media & Marketing specialising in Advertising, TV, Publishing. Rowan is


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  86. struth says:

    You’re lost to the propaganda Rosie, so please stop publicly embarrassing yourself and displaying to all your underlying evil fueled by panic.


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  87. Knuckle Dragger says:

    REPORT THIS AD.


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  88. H B Bear says:

    KD – never made it north of Broome. Hope to get to get up to Darwin one winter. Enjoy it while you can. It is a rapidly fading memory for much of Australia.


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  89. Grigory M says:

    Hey Tom,

    Good to see you’ve stuck with your principled stand against the “Report Comment” – for one day.

    C’mon Tom – you’re a Fantasist sock, aren’t you.


    moderated
  90. struth says:

    That’s right KD.
    At the top I said it was Rowan Dean.
    What’s that little tick you’ve got?


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  91. Ruprecht says:

    We need to be free and rise up against tyranny Vs Notafan must be silenced!
    Keep it up fellas.


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  92. H B Bear says:

    When Roman Dean nails it he is very good. That must go close to one of his best. Good satire is hard.


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  93. C.L. says:

    In answer to the original question, a eulogy should be about two things: the joy of the person’s life, and funny stories to illustrate the person’s humanity.
    ——————-

    Monty – the Lord Macaulay of the fantasy football firmament.

    Areff, in defence of a growing numbers of bishops (whose defence is not a big priority for me on most subjects these days), they’ve had to institute an in genere policy owing to un-churched people making uncouth and scandalous remarks as supposed eulogists.

    Older people who ‘get it’ are obviously not their concern.

    Glad you had that experience at your Mum’s service. That sounds really perfect.


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  94. Goanna says:

    I’m writing to the Prime Minister. What’s the term for an audit of dead people?

    *****************************
    Fraudit


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  95. cohenite says:

    Toms Toons and Lame pics, thanks guys.

    Rowan Dean at his finest.

    Good stuff.


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  96. Knuckle Dragger says:

    Calm down St. Ruth.

    It was a gentle dig at mass cut and paste events where bylines, ads and subheadings for other articles are included in the pasted text.

    The supremely critical may say it indicates a rushed lack of attention to detail that takes away from the intended message, which would be unfortunate because that intended message is valid.


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